Tim Seibles
4am
I caught the last of a great caravan of clouds.
City night. Sky like the inside of a skillet
and bright as ghosts, they crossed—not slowly
but unhurried—as if remembering the way
by feel, the way you might touch the wall
of a dark hall at a friend’s house late, moving
toward the back porch where you heard the June-bugs
unbuttoning their brass jackets. September.
September: another good summer gone and me
another season older with these streets
wet from a small storm that woke me
to see silver clouds drawn along the sky.
But before that I had been dreaming: a box
of bottles on the back seat of a car, sunlight
sassing the windshield. A hitchhiker
wearing the bluest baseball cap
you ever saw. I guess I had been
driving, and somehow money
was involved, but neither of us knew
how much. We knew the police
were hiding in the church. “But look
how it is,” he said, —“the road,
I mean, and wide,” and the wind stuttered
in the spidery weeds while the asphalt stirred
like a dark sheet under which someone
sleeping had turned over and then,
it was a river much wider than a road,
with the air barely brushing the trees
the way you might touch the hair of someone
you loved once, stumbling into her
beneath the marquee after a movie. It was
hard smiling the brief embrace, seeing her walk
away, because her walk was the reason
you had tried to meet her five Junes ago—
her smiling voice, the almost sleepy grace
in her gait: you remember scolding your heart
for wanting again: you already believed
she would pass through your life—
which she did—like the good season of a late hour,
like a brightness opening the dark by feel,
the way a blind-folded boy looks
for his friends in his unlit basement:
the quiet so thick he begins to think
they are gone completely.
And they are: having one by one
slipped out the back door
where, after some giggles, they catch the sunset
burning brass into their blue jackets
and decide to just go home
while he traces the walls,
the dusty sofa, the smooth plank
of the ironing board, not knowing his hands
would eventually find the differences
between what moves, what stays, and what
was never really there at all.